Welcome! This blog is the cosy, often amusing, sometimes dangerous den of two British Paranormal Romance writers. Most of our stories are based in the UK, our heroes and heroines are passionate Brits - sometimes dark, sometimes witty, and always supernatural. Pull up a chair for yourself, and let us pour you a Hot Toddy as we add another log to the fire...

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Finally we have jokes!

I swear I am not going to make a habit out of posting late. If it happens it is usually because I have been able to get online, or exhaustion from the day job, which is a little more naughty than the first reason, but some days my brain is literally a pile of much and I mean, you've seen my posts when it's not in that state of melting.

So, because this is technically a late post, and because I have to be up at the beautiful time of 4:30 am tomorrow I am going to post some jokes, which I promised to do the other week. Two are a tad rude, but they made me laugh, and to any blond(e)s reading this, I am a blonde so I'm not trying to insult y'all.



~ * ~

* A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."


A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."


Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"


What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!"



~ * ~

Also, and on a completely different note, I've been interviewed by Julie over at Julie's Book Review where there is a fab rafflecopter giveaway going on. Lot's of goodies to win including a PDF copy of my erotic thriller, "Creak," plus I'm giving away a swag pack. Interested in winning? Just hop on over and leave an entry.


http://juliesbookreview.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/come-on-over-and-meet-elizabeth-morgan.html?spref=fb 

"Creak" was also awarded 4 stars. . . "Melt the pages erotica and then totally creepy and leaves you wanting your mommy, horror for the thriller." 

http://juliesbookreview.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/review-of-creak-by-elizabeth-morgan.html?spref=fb


~ * ~

* All jokes were found, laughed at, and borrowed from - http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/

Friday, 14 June 2013

The angel in the marble.

I am beavering away at The Last Dragon.

Over 21,656 words complete - a lot more still to go.

I've booked two days away in July, so I can stay in London City near Canary Wharf - the place where The Last Dragon will be rising ;) My partner will be looking after our daughter when I'm away, and I'm having one of those moments where I'm feeling so very grateful for the man in my life - his patience with my whole 'being an author' thing, lol. (We're not easy to live with, folks, are we?)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to two days of solid writing (well, as solid as possible). I don't believe I write as fast as many others, but I do know that I'm thorough with every single sentence I write, in its action and meaning. So here's to an action-fuelled, meaningful two days away :D

Up until then, I'll be chipping away at this book, shaping it into what I want it to be. On that note, I shall leave you with Michelangelo's words (very fitting for The Last Dragon, I'm sure you'll agree) -

"I saw the angel in the marble
and carved until I set him free."


Tuesday, 11 June 2013

I suck, so here's a sneak peek at "Let Me In."

I suck. Yesterday my shift was changed and by the time I got home I had a million things to do, which lead to brain meltdown. So . . . I kinda forgot to post. Many apologies.

Now due to the lovely fact that I have to be up at 4:30am tomorrow I am keeping this post simple and sharing an unedited excerpt from my WIP "Let Me In." This is the project I started in October - which I think I have mentioned in a previous post - and I am slowly adding word to it at every opportunity I get.

So, it's in the very early stages, subject to change, so on so forth. Enjoy, and I hope you all have a lovely week.

~ * ~

Excerpt from Chapter One:

Paige rolled the tumbler between her thumb and index finger. “And this extra shot”-she waggled her finely plucked eyebrows-“a purposely chosen sweet cherry is to, Lia. May tonight be filled with some sexy fun, all of which will propel you in to a tomorrow full of some sort of renewed hope rather than regret.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

Following her direction I lifted the shot glass – the last of six – and knocked the sweet liquid back. My eyelids fluttered as the final hit of “liquid courage” ran down my throat and heated my insides to another degree. A shudder ran the length of my spine, and with one slow and deep breath, I shook off my previous tension.

The bang of glass on wood forced my focus back to the ladies sitting around me.

“Right, you know the rules girls; peruse the crowd and find yourself a man.” Paige lifted her fingers and pointed to her eyes. “Make eye contact, and if he gives you a smile, a “come hither,” or basically eye fucks you; you get your ass over there and tell him he is going home with you tonight.” She pulled ten dollars from her cleavage and placed it on the table. “If he is susceptible to that fabulous idea, then whoever is unlucky tonight gets to keep your ten dollars for another couple of rounds and a cab ride home.”

“All is fair in love and war, baby.” Michaela stood up and threw a ten dollar note on to the table. “And that blond is mine, all mine. Wish him luck, ladies, because he is going to need his strength tonight.”

We watched with amusement as Michaela prowled toward the blond. A coy smile curled his lips as she pushed up against him and whispered in his ear. Her hand landed on his chest, lingering, before she pulled away and walked into the crowd. A sultry glance over her shoulder, and the blond handed his beer bottle to his mate and followed without hesitation.

“God, she makes it look so easy,” Cindy commented with a shake of her head.

“It is that easy.” Paige leant across the table. “The main reason people come to clubs is because they want to hook up with someone for the night.”

“Silly me, I was always under the impression the point of a club was to come dancing and have fun.” I replied.

She cocked her head to the side. “Oh sweetie, you are not that naive. And playing dumb is not going to get you out of the game.” Paige glanced over her shoulder. “So, on that note, who is the lucky guy going to be?”

“No idea.” I shrugged, and looked out at the mass of bodies crowding the club. “This may take me a while.”

“Oh, I’m in no hurry for you to pick.” She twisted round, and draped one leg over the other. “I have a backup plan in the form of the sexy ass bartender.” She folded her arms and shot me a smile. “So, I’m good to wait.”

“Remind me again, how does putting myself out there to be used for one night actually help my self-esteem?”

“This isn’t about self esteem. This is about fun; sexy, dirty, orgasmic fun.”

“Oh, so I have fun and then continue to feel like crap once it is over? Right, now I remember why this is a really idiotic game.”

“Just pick or I will pick for you.”

“Go ahead and pick. I’m not going up to some stranger and saying, “hey baby, wanna get in my panties, so I can feel like shit in the morning.”

“Now, the first part might actually work. Just stop talking after the word panties, push your tits together, and bat your eyelashes. Simple.”

Grabbing the twenty dollars from the table, I stood up. “I’m getting a drink. Anyone who isn’t interested in feeling cheap in the morning want one?”

Cindy raised her hand. I glanced at Loretta who nodded.

“You use to be fun.” Paige sighed, and stood up. “Shaun has really-”

“Done enough. So, please stop reminding me.” The words felt like gravel in my mouth as I bit them out. Twisting round, my shoulder met with a solid wall of muscle. Stumbling to a halt, I looked up and an apology died on my tongue. Amber eyes looked down at me from the sexiest face I had ever seen in my life; high cheekbones, a roman nose, and a fine layer of hair covered a well angled jaw. His skin was the richest tone of copper, and his dark hair fell back in waves and stopped just under his ears.

“Sorry.” The words fell from my lips too silent for the stranger to have heard me, but his lips twisted at the corners.

His large hand came to rest on the small of my back, his fingertips hot, and rough against my bare skin. He leaned in, pressing his mouth to my ear. “It was my fault entirely.” His breath skated down my neck causing goosebumps to rise over every inch of my flesh A shudder racked down my spine. “And I’m happy to take the blame.”

My mouth watered at the scent of his spicy cologne. A blush claimed my entire body as he pulled a breath away and gazed down at me. His focus slipped further, resting on my breasts which felt restricted in the idiotic and binding dress.

“Have a drink with me.”

My mouth fell open. Amusement stretched across his face.

“I-er-” seemed to have lost the ability to form a coherent sentence all of a sudden. Embarrassment caused my skin to flush a shade darker. I was standing in front of possibly the sexiest man I had ever laid my eyes on, and I was acting like a bumbling idiot. The floor really needed to open up and swallow me within the next ten seconds.

“She would love too.”

My focus swung to Paige who appeared beside us. She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. “She likes white wine.”

“I do?” I looked back at the man. “I mean, yes, I-I do. And I would love too. Have a drink, with you.” Nervous laughter bubbled in my throat as I gave him a polite smile. “Thank you.”

“It would be my pleasure.” He slipped his hand from my back and nodded. “I shall be right back.”

The stranger turned and I found myself angling my head to the side in order to admire his fine form. And boy what a form he had. Built in the upper area, solid shoulders, broad hips, well built thighs, and an ass that any sane woman would want to chew on.

I shook my head and looked at Paige. “What the hell just happened?” 

She slipped her arm round my waist. “You hit the jackpot, Sweetie. And I am so fucking jealous.”

“I can’t have a drink with him.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why?”

“I-I don’t know him. I don’t even know his name.”

“And that would be why you’re having a drink, because daddy likes what he sees, baby, and by the way he was looking at you I think he plans to take you home and do wicked things to you with those hands of his.”
Shivers ran down my spine at the idea of his hands all over my body. The small of my back still burned from the heat of his palm. “I-I can’t?”

“Are you seriously telling me that you wouldn’t want to wrap your legs around that” - she pointed to the stranger - “and let him take you for the ride of your life and every damn way you can think of? Are you seriously going to tell me that you aren’t interested in finding out what that yummy mouth of his can do?”

My core clenched at the ideas. Needless to say my body was as hungry for the answers to those questions as Paige was, but . . . . I had been with Shaun for six years; it had been a long time since I got naked in front of another guy, let alone sleep with one.

“If you say you’re not interested then single women everywhere will like drop dead from universal shock. I mean, that is a man, Lia. A wicked, sexy, man of every woman’s fantasies, kind of man. And he asked you to have a drink with him.”

“But why me?”

“Who cares why? The man is smoking hot.”

I twisted round so he was out of my line of view. “Paige, I’m so out of practice with this shit.”
She cupped my cheek and stared me in the eyes. “Let him lead. All you have to do is follow. That is how simple this is.” She grabbed my bag from the table and handed it to me. “Go. Have a drink. Have fun. Have sex, and then call me tomorrow because I want to know every dirty little detail.”

I glanced over my shoulder.


“Forget about that dickhead, Shaun. Just go have fun.” She turned me round by the shoulders and gave me a gentle push. “You deserve some fun.” 

~ * ~

And let me tell you, she has fun. Life changing with major consequences kinda fun, but fun nevertheless. ;-P

Hope you enjoyed that little tease. I know I mentioned that I would fill this weeks post with jokes, but hopefully you will forgive the lack of cheese, because I could always throw them at you next week. ;-D

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Worth Writing About

I was sitting in a coffee shop today, thinking people are so interesting. We come in all shapes and sizes, we have different senses of humour, we all love and dislike different things, some of us are very, very bad people, and some of us are compassionate beyond belief. That's magic, right? Real magic. That's what magic is - something uncontainable, something you can't fit into a shape or label, something you can't put in a box.

I can't put people in a box. Just when I think I've got them figured out, they turn around and surprise me by doing something wonderful and kind, or something awful and atrocious.

The world is a constant source of cliffhangers and surprising plots - it's certainly something worth writing about.

Dianna xxx

Monday, 3 June 2013

Why can't life be easy?

If it's not family problems it's money problems; if it's not money, it's work, or the house, or the garden. Why can't life be easy?

To be honest I decided to write this post after reading Zee Monodee's post today at her blog. She mentioned the line between "too much" and "too little" when writing posts for readers. I feel a lot of the time that I have nothing interesting to say, or that my posts are boring. I don't want to bore my readers, but I never know how much is too much. I mean, we are all strangers linked through books. You're on this site, reading this post because well, you want to, but because you're either a fellow writer or a readers and you have read either mine of Dianna's work, or you just know and think we're awesome and like to read our ramblings.

How much do you want to know about a writer? Well, about another human being. Do you prefer to just read about work, or does it mean something to hear about every day annoyances and fun stuff?

This is a post about me, I guess. I suppose you could say I have nothing interesting at the present moment to share with you in regards to work. So, I'm just writing what springs to mind; what's been going on with me at the moment.

Question, is it really bad that I would like to tell everyone to bugger off and then crawl away in to a hole and just concentrate on writing?

For those of you who are crazy enough to read my posts, you know I'm going through a slow period/dry spell. Dianna talked about stagnation in her post last Thursday and I have to say that it just plain sucks. Since last summer I have personally felt that I have come to a resting period in my life, and I have to say I hate it. I hate that it feels like my life isn't moving forward. I hate that it seems like everyone else is rushing ahead of me. I hate that I feel like nothing is waiting for me; nothing is round that corner. And although I understand we all have our own paths and speeds, and reasons for what we do etc. I just feel so irritated by it all.

Like Dianna mentioned, change is a good way to break the stagnation. I have said myself on many occasions to others that if they aren't happy - and it's not that I'm not happy - they need to make a change in their life.

My problem is I wouldn't even know where to begin. What about my life do I need to change? I don't know, because my life is okay at the moment. Nothing is really wrong, I just can't help wondering what is going on. I guess my problem is that I'm a deep thinker. Most people might never even have such thoughts about life, but I can't seem to switch those questions off at the moment.

Naturally this form of thought process is not helped by everything else going on around me. I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day and although I am trying I can't get on top of everything. It also feels like writing is practically impossible at the moment because everything else is just falling in front of me and refusing to move.

I thought it was all me. I have spent the last couple of months thinking something is wrong with me. I've become lazy. I've been stressing that maybe I am losing both interest and the creativity to write because maybe I'm not supposed to write. Maybe I was just kidding myself. . . and then I found out that lack of interest was actually a symptom of depression.

I have depression. I don't tend to talk about it very much. I'm not someone who suffers from severe depression, but I swing between mild to moderate. I hate that I have it, and have had it since being a young teenage. I have had bad stages of it on an ongoing time scale. These last couple of years I have been better, but these last two months have been horrid. It has seriously been kicking my butt.

I haven't wanted to leave the house, and I hate that feeling. I don't want to go to work. I hate that I get out of bed most days and want to cry. The last two months I have woken up and just felt like I can't breathe, or that there is a hole burning in the middle of my chest. I feel so empty and alone sometimes, and I loathe that the weight that accompanies my depression makes me feel like the entire world is caving in on me.

I feel pathetic. I guess I might even sound pathetic, and ridiculous, and today I can write that without tears swelling in my eyes, because today I am okay. Today - despite the small amount of stress that occurred - I feel okay. I can talk about this because life is okay.

So, why can't life be easy? Why can't it flow and make sense?

Every time I hear someone say that my automatic response is, "Because it would be boring if it was simple. If we all got everything we wanted there would be no lessons, no comparison between the good and the bad. Life would be rather pointless if it was straightforward."

Not exactly what you want to hear when you're feeling down, but it's the truth. I've had to get to this point where I accept that I have depression and it isn't going anywhere. It will effect me and I will just have to deal with it. I can't stress out about things because I'm not going to help myself, and that I will write, slowly, but it's better than nothing.

Maybe this is too much information. I apologize if it is. I usually wait to post last thing because if I am stuck for a subject, something usually happens and inspires me. Naturally, it isn't always the case as with today. I'm hoping next week I will have heard back about submissions and might be able to share some news in regards to books etc. either way, I promise next weeks posts will be light and full of pictures or cheesy jokes. :-)

Hope you've all had a nice Monday.

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Keep changing until it goes 'click'.

I've always loved change. It brings excitement, adventure and that "smell" of new things!

Whenever anything has been stagnant in my life in the past, I simply changed it. (Admittedly, that's a little harder to do nowadays with a family that needs structure and stability to be nourished.) But the same applies to my writing: don't like it? Change it. And I also change the materials around the book or story, until something goes click. You've seen me with my book covers, right? And with my websites? And header designs? And book trailers? That's right - you get the picture! Create, create, create, change it, create, change, change some more, create, change... and so it goes on until the change that you've made clicks something into place and everything can grow from there.

I'm in a slightly stagnant place now with The Last Dragon, not least because May has been a hell of a month in terms of family and holidays, and sickness and birthdays... my god, May has been a LOOOOOONG month.  And so damn busy in many ways that I'm a little shocked I managed 11,000 words and only had one mild panic attack.

Please, Powers That Be, I am BEGGING you for an easier June, where the ideas can flow into my mind, my soul can transmute them, and then words can flow out of my hands onto paper (or eReader), and maybe most of all, the TIME to allow that flow to take place.

Oh, yes, I need time! Time please!

And for the end of May (there's only a day left) you may see those changes I'm talking about take place. Don't be alarmed - it is me trying to get energy moving; trying to get things flowing. If you do happen upon them, I hope you enjoy them :)

Dianna x

Monday, 27 May 2013

The Agony of Gardening

I hope you all had a lovely Bank Holiday weekend, or weekend in general for those of you who don't live over in the lovely UK.

I spent Sunday in both my front and back garden. It has been raining and windy and just cold and horrible all through April and May, which means there has been no chance to do the garden. So, I spent the day hacking and digging and pulling weeds and all sorts of other delights out of the ground, while getting pricked by thorns and dodging wasps and all other sorts of idiocy.

I'm not a gardener. I don't have a green thumb. I hate insects, especially wasps, bees and spiders, and I don't know what is a plant and a weed. I know, I'm such a girl, but I like pretty gardens, and I like sitting outside in the sun. It sounds stupid, but on nice, sunny, warm days, I get nostalgic and I go all deep and life just seems good and hopeful . . . but I haven't been able to sit outside due to the mess that is my garden. Plus, no one else is going to tidy it up for me, and I don't have the money for a gardener, which also seems pointless, because the gardens really aren't that big.

So, Sunday was an interesting day. I learnt that weeds are a master of disguise and can sometimes look rather pretty. I learnt that soil can be rock hard and stubborn. That grass likes to grow in places it shouldn't like the flower beds and the cracks between the paving stones. Rotten wood(en fencing) is just a pain in the ass. And that grass never ends.

I also got to use my new lawnmower. I should have took a picture of it. It's my first mower. I know that sounds a little sad, but purchasing it made me feel like a proper adult. It's small and green and I had to put all the pieces together with a knife because I don't own a screwdriver. Something which is now on my must buy list, because screwdrivers are very handy, but yes, I made up my mower and took it out for a spin and had to switch it off like five times, because the plastic cage kept getting full of grass. I swear the strip of grass in my garden is not that long or wide, but there was sooooo much grass, which went everywhere when I tried to tip it in the bin. I got some in my eye and let me tell you, grass hurts when it is in the eye.

Any way, after all the huffing puffing, sweating, stabbing, cramping, I am happy to say the garden is neat. I now just have to buy some ready to plant flowers - it's safer that way - and tidy up the far end of my garden and I will feel happy sitting outside. Of course it then decided to start raining at about 2pm this afternoon and hasn't stopped. Needless to say, I might be doing all of the above again next Sunday. O_o

What did you do this weekend? Anyone have a BBQ? I haven't had a BBQ in such a long time. It's on my "must do once garden is presentable" list.